Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His nipple licking is glorious
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