I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
