how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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