I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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