I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Boobs are out for the taking
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
