i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
