he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
