If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
