haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
