Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
