She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
