You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
