I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My cat gives me a boner
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
