There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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