The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
