i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
