sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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