You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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