1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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