i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
