This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
