You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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