I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
