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What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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