My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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