I can't watch pbs sober anymore
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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