I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
