Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
