I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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