I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
