I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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