check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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