So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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