TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize