wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
