The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
