i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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