My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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