The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
