He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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