I murdered the dance floor call the cops
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
