remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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