You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
