I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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