It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
