remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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