then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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