I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
People in love make me want to vomit
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you never un-have a 4some
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize