Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
