since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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