I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize
