This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
