I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
