It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
