he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
