he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
