I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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