I wannas sexs uuuuu
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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