So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The air taste purple.
His nipple licking is glorious
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