eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
